The Artistic Shit

A shit that has formed into a wonderfully beautiful shape. You usually feel VERY proud of yourself after taking this shit, this is followed by taking pictures, uploading them on RateMyPoo and then forwarding it to all of your friends. Then followed by your friends deleting you from their life.

The 'HOLY FUCKING SHIT' Shit

The shit SO BIG that it's almost impossible not to completely prolapse your ass or die after this gigantic turd has clambered out of you. This shit is comparable to a woman giving birth to 12 babies at once.

23% of people die after having this shit.

76% prolapse their ass.

1% survive.

The Lincoln Log Shit

The REALLY HUGE one that you have to push extra hard for it to come out. When it comes out it looks like a giant ass oak tree log that's been dumped in your dunny. Almost always followed by having to break it into small pieces with the toilet brush before you flush it.

Occasionally people might struggle with this shit, so to avoid any possibility of prolapse, you cut it into small droppings with your sphincter.

The Fat Shit

The huge one where afterwards you feel slightly exhausted after shitting it out, and also slightly proud of yourself.

The Bloodbath Shit

Like The Bloody Shit, but instead of a small stain, when you try to shit nothing but blood sprays out of your ass. This leaves your toilet bowl with a small pool of red and an awful pain in your ass.

If you have this shit, you should IMMEDIATELY get a doctor to get it checked out. This is almost 100% ass cancer

The Bloody Shit

When you wipe and see a horrifying blood stain on your toilet paper. This is usually caused by straining too hard and popping one of your small haemorrhoids (a very common anal problem where little blob bags of strained blood appear around the asshole)

The Seedy Shit

Same thing as The Corny Shit, it's little bits of undigested sesame seeds. Usually  appears after eating a McDonald's burger.